Hey, remember all the crazy crap I did last year? Me neither!
Thankfully the internet records all my goodness for you. I decided to see what I was up to this past year, reflected in my tweets and Facebook status updates.
I present to you, my dearest readers (that mean the ones most dear, namely the hottest) with a few choice selections from my brain. This is TweetsFromParis.
Part I is January through June, two per month. Enjoy!
Received four new stools in the mail today. And I’ll beat you to the joke by answering that, “No, they’re not soft.” Jan 05, 2011Just got busted – guy said, “You can’t bring a dog into Jewel.” I said, “Wow – you’re right!” like I was as surprised as him. Kept shopping. Jan 14, 2011Took a quiz to determine what religion suits my beliefs best – came back with 92% match with Liberal Quakers. Going to start my beard today. Feb 02, 2011Just saw an almost certain lesbian on the subway with the exact same haircut as myself. We nodded warmly toward one another in appreciation. Feb 22, 2011After three nights of sleeping in the guest bedroom as experiment to see if I felt like a guest, I can say, “No, did not feel like a guest.” Mar 02, 2011While I judge those who wear crazy clothing on the subway that scream, “please look at ME!”, I realize I do the same thing via these updates. Mar 12, 2011As I sit here feeling occasional shame about my imperfections, it’s nice to have a cat and dog who are not the least bit disappointed in me. Apr 01, 2011I’m not sure how the forces in the universe operate, but one just guided me to Wikipedia to read all about The Fat Boys. Apr 04, 2011I wish the jacuzzi I was just in was filled with aloe vera as opposed to water and 10 guys from Long Island. Sunburn!!! May 20, 2011If I ran things over at the Wonka division at Nestle, my first order of business would be to retire the banana candy in Runts. May 30, 2011Anyone want to do something? I mean, I’m open if it’s cool. Wait, that sounds desperate. Forget I said anything. Jun 05, 2011I find it funny that I order my popcorn from the Amish, yet the thought of actually talking to one sort of skeeves me out. (it’s the beard) Jun 11, 2011Time to super-clean so that the woman who is checking on my cat while I’m away does not know the truth about how gross I really am. Jun 22, 2011
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